| Hubris (pride) has been the bane of many a hero.
It took down Bellerophon, who became so enamored of himself he thought he deserved to saddle up Pegasus and ride up to Olympus to party with the gods. Zeus had other ideas, however, and Bellerophon was awarded a life sentence of misery as a blinded cripple. This does not solely just apply to a Greek mythology but I am trying my best not to me. And that's life. Carrying the world on my shoulders.
gordo |
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| So damn stressed out. So damn close to running away from all my problems. So damn close to the E D G E.
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| Summer is coming by rather quickly. One moment I remember prom and all
that stuff and next thing I know its July. Wow and I realized its July
on the 3rd day of the month so wow time is pasting me quickly but I am
trying my best to keep up. Trying to stay in touch with friends but its
tough cause everyone is gonna go away come September so a part of me is
like bracing for the hardship and unconciously avoiding alot of my
friends. Well that's life for ya.
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| It's taken a week to put together all the words together...and I am sure not all the words are even together. Some people are kind to me about my injury cause they understand the rigors of the lifestyle. Others are Jackasses and assume I am faking the injury or don't understand the severity of it. Clue they are the ones closest to me supposedly. Jackasses...I don't limp for no reason, and I am not lefthanded...I was forced to use the left hand all last wk and currently I am still using it cause one arm feels fucked.
Man last week, life was depressing. I would wake up everyday like a cripple, moan to myself, THIS CAN'T BEE LIFE, I AM ONLY 17. I just hoped to God that this was all just a bad dream but it wasn't. I always believe in God or some sort of supernatural force. But I never really felt it or believe it til I woke up on the hospital bed with a light on my face, first words out of my mouth...thank God. He gave me a second...chance. I felt this force going through me...bringing me back to life from the dead...that I cheated death once again. But man...was I sore..everyday painkillers lead to my face breaking apart adding to the low self-esteem to the looking at the window before I fell asleep from sadness.
So what did I do...I couldnt physically leave the house for a wild night. So I just hid behind the computer screen, reading and researching. Few knew...why this young Warrior was tragic at heart. I sit right now...stiff...hands hurting, face peeling, pride struggling. But behind the net, I am a Warrior once again. But yeah for those who worry, the few I assume. No I am not ok. Physically I am not ok. Mentally I am even worse off but I am getting better is all I can say. Let me whisper under my breathe...this can't be life.
-gord |
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